"You're boring."
"Your body is ugly."
"You're a fake."
"Who would ever like you?"

I listened for maybe five minutes, feeling the familiarity of many of the invectives. When I felt done, I lifted the headphones away... and was amazed by the *silence*. THAT seemed to be the gift of the art piece -- the experience of taking the headphones off and coming back to real, sensory experience, beyond the evaluative and judgemental mind...

The childbirth experience was a mixture of sweet ecstasy and intense physical and emotional work. And in the end, a baby came out... in the bathroom, because I thought I had to poop.

Free: "I see something!"
Me: (screaming) "It's poop!"
Free: "No, it's the baby!"
It turns out that I wasn't going crazy... lots of women have this experience.

Aurora and I have been having a sweet time getting to know each other as we lay in bed together. I'm on orders to stay in bed for 2 weeks due to a tear in a tricky place -- ugh! I'm trying to enjoy the rest as a luxury... but I miss working in the garden and being a part of daily life around here. Free and the kids are treating me like a queen, though, so I can't complain.

This baby is pretty delightful -- lots of sleeping, nursing, and wide-eyed observation (during the few hours she's awake). She doesn't have a last name yet, because Free and I haven't figured out how to balance practicality with idealism (isn't that the quintessential struggle?). So for now, she just has two middle names, two ecstatic parents, and a lot of poop.

love,
tickledspirit and Aurora (Rori, Froggy, Sugar Snap, Pea Pod...)